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In Praise of Women…

Oh Women…you lovely…strong…sacrificing…lively…breathtaking…humble…broken…pure…amazing…souls…

I honor your journeys today…

The weight loss…the weight gain…

The stretched wombs from 8 pound babes…

The stretched rear ends from 8 pound babes…

The laughter you share with your most intimate over coffee…

The tears you cry together because well…let’s face it…men could never get “that”… :-)

The hours you give up making children’s favorite foods and school costumes…

The bathroom breaks you never get to receive alone because ALL the children must come and talk to you while you are in there…

The pets…

The moments you get into the shower only to be alone to cry so no one will know…

The pure joy you receive from seeing your babies smile and love…

The dreams you put on hold in order to establish dreams in the next generation of little women…

Humility about your beauty…

Endurance when the world embraces physical perfection over character and moral minds…

The tiger that lies dormant but is ready to pounce at any time given the right situation involving your offspring…

The words you whisper to the God that sustains you and your heavy heart throughout the years…

Women…you do it…and you do it right…

I’m proud to be one of you..

Here’s some rockin’ quotes that pretty much sum it for all of you beauties!!

“I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year’s fashion.” Lillian Helman

“You grow up the first day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.” Ethel Barrymore

“Love is the only thing we carry with us when we go…and it makes the end so easy.” Louisa May Alcott

“And not to forget that when life knocks you on your knees- well, that’s the best position in which to pray isn’t it? On your knees, that’s where I learned.” Ethel Barrymore (I’m lovin’ this wonderful woman!)

“My friends are my estate.” Emily Dickenson

“A Mother is not a person to lean on, but to make leaning unnecessary.” Dorothy Canfield Fisher

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone with your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” Sophia Loren

“Like all parents my husband and I just do the best we can, hold our breath, and hope we’ve set enough money aside for our kid’s therapy.” Michelle Pfeiffer

“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” Mother Theresa

“Mothers are really the true spiritual leaders.” Oprah Winfrey

“I married beneath me. All women do.” Lady Nancy Astor

“I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.” Janette Barber

“Whatever wrinkles I got…I enjoyed getting them.” Ava Gardner

“It’s the plain women who know about love. The beautiful women are too busy being fascinating.” Audrey Hepburn

“Men are not looking for the hottest girl in the room. They are looking for the most interesting.” Bethany Frankel

“My idea of a superwoman is one who scrubs her own floor.” Bette Midler

“Whenever I date a guy, I think ‘Is this a man I want my children to spend their weekends with?’” Rita Rudner

“Charm is the ability to make someone else think that both of you are pretty wonderful.” Kathleen Winsor

“I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

“Walk the street with us into history. Get off the sidewalk.” Dolores Huerta

“People call me a feminist whenever I say things that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.” Rebecca West

“If a woman just tries to stay toned and beautiful looking on the outside but hasn’t developed anything of value on the inside, there’s not much to talk about.” Debbie Allen

“You never find yourself until you tell the truth.” Pearl Bailey

“Long tresses down to the floor can be beautiful if you have that, but learn to love what you have.” Anita Baker

“It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.” Bridgette Bardot

“A woman is beautiful when she thinks she is.” Ethel Barrymore

“People are uncertain because they don’t have the self-confidence to make decisions.” Julia Child

“Only you can determine your own worth, your own self-esteem, and how much happiness to expect in life.” Jinger Heath

“Surviving means being born over and over again.” Erica Jong

“Being solitary is being alone well: Being alone luxuriously immersed in doing your own choice, aware of the fulness of your own presence rather than the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.” Alice Koller

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.” Anne Lamontt

“If didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” Audre Lorde

“Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.” Katherine Mansfield

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“It’s our choices that show who we are, far more than our abilities.” J K Rowling

“Whatever we believe about ourselves and our abilities comes true for us.” Susan L Taylor

“It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time.” Margery Williams

WASN’T THAT EVER SO FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!

Grace n Peace,

A ~

Bright and Beautiful…

Laine is just fine bathing once a week. She couldn’t care less about black feet, black nails and a dirty face. She “feels” clean. She often says “I took a bath YESTERDAY.” She honestly believes in her heart that she’s clean enough…that she “passes”…

I do this too. ALL THE TIME. Don’t get me wrong I bathe every day! But in a spiritual sense…I do this all the time. I go to God…spend time…repent…come out shiny and new ready to face the world and it’s challenges. I go out, go to school, deal with bills, worry about money and life, come back in dirty…but I don’t FEEL dirty. I don’t see the dirt under my fingernails. So I skip the bath…I skip the restoration…because hey…I’m BUSY…I’m WORKING for him…One day won’t hurt…

I wake up the next day…covered in dirt…face splattered…hair tangled..and I go out…into a world desperate with sin, perversion, hurt, angst…and I LOOK just like THEM…so I blend in…completely….no one gives me a second glance…why should they? They are covered in filth as I am there is no reason to look twice as I do not have anything to offer that they don’t already possess…and herein lies my sin…

I know it is my mandate to love all people…it is my mandate to establish community with His children and shine…but my sin often lies in the fact that I’m so dirty myself that I cannot shine…I cannot be seen as anything different that what they already possess…worry…doubt…fear…anxiety…anger…loss…superiority…judgement…

I will NEVER be any better than any other human being. But GOD is. And when I submit to Him my failings and struggles…I empty me and fill with HIM…

If I were clean from the spiritual practice of relationship and repentance…I would offer peace for worry…I would offer security for doubt…I would offer power for fear…I would offer love for anxiety…I would offer calm for anger…I would offer offerings for loss…I would offer acceptance for superiority…I would offer community for judgement…

These are the signs of a well bathed God Lover…

Colossians 1:10-12 says

“We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.”

God does not intend for us to walk through the world dirty…with gritted teeth…He intends for us to SPILL with joy…

Spill interprets to me to “get everything wet that it touches”… With JOY.

No one should come in contact with me (including my children and family) that does not leave more infused with joy.

Here’s the really interesting part…”thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.”

I often think that “taking part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for me” should be joyous…it should be free…it should be EASY…

But I find Paul asking God to give us strength to take part…interesting…
Could it be that Paul knew that living in a messed up, human, sinful world would make it difficult to SEE the “bright and beautiful” things He has for us?

Could it be that Paul knew that God Lovers would need to be STRONG and empowered to LOOK for the “bright and beautiful” of the world? Because so much of what we encounter around is us dismal and dirty? ALL of us…believers and NON-believers…

Wow…

So back to the bath…I find for myself that if I do not take my body, heart, mind and soul to the bath of God every morning, I will not lead my day in the “bright and beautiful.” I am more prone to anger. I am more prone to pride. I am more prone to judgement. I am more prone to “busyness”.

The ONLY way for me to live a beautiful life is to bathe daily in the Word and wash my heart in His love and mercy.

This bathing…this ritual…it is yes…first for me and my saving…but then second it makes me a disciple…because it washes the filth that the others around us are trying to escape…it shows them there IS a way to live unfettered. There is a way to live free. And they are made STRONG and empowered to look for their OWN “bright and beautiful”.

Let’s wash behind our ears friends…I want for all of us to dwell in the “bright and beautiful”…

Grace n Peace,

A ~

Granola with God…

I drink my coffee and fight the gut reaction to…ahem…puke…

I am having a lay it all out there, here it is, conversation with my Lord…

It’s hard for me…there are certain things in my life I do not trust Him with…

Specific areas that I have consistently proven unable to master or even correctly decision within my life…and yet…I KEEP TRYING…

My pattern is to hold it to the side…because if I hold it in my backpack He won’t know that I’m holding that idol for myself right?

Then I start hiking up the mountain to the summit and the backpack zipper breaks…out spills my hidden idol and I think (how dumb of me) that He sees it for the first time…

All the while He’s watched me hiding from Him like a mere child…He’s got to be saying “Really? AGAIN?!!”

So today…I chose to take a different path and just SAY it to Him…Lay it on the line…and honestly…even as I type this I feel like I have acid reflux…my heart is pounding…total anxiety…

Because I don’t like giving it up…the reality is…I’m afraid if I submit my backpack to Him then I won’t get to keep my granola inside…

I WANT THE BLASTED GRANOLA!!!!

But then I’m reminded as I turn the next corner up the mountain…His backpack is so much better…

Where I have water…He has ARTESIAN water…Where I have granola…He has BAGUETTE…Where I have peanuts…He has ROASTED PECANS WITH GLAZE…

Stupid analogy I know…but the moral of my convoluted story is this:

I’m surrendering…and surrendering is hard for type A, idol holding, “I can do it” chicks like myself…

So like anything else…the first few times are very uncomfortable…but when I hand over the backpack, several things happen:

1. I am so much lighter! I don’t have to carry all that junk and it makes my trek so much more enjoyable
2. His snacks are WAY better than mine! When I let him lead and pass out the “snacks”…they are so much tastier and enjoyable…WHO WOULDA THOUGHT?!!?
3. I get to the summit whole…healthy…not exhausted but refreshed by the journey…

Hrmmmmm….I likes it!

Grace n Peace,

A ~

Men.

I got your attention didn’t I? :-)

I get the question all the time…”So, are you angry at men?”

It almost makes me laugh at this point.

My standard answer: “No, I think there are a lot of really good ones out there. I just haven’t partnered well to date.”

This morning I read Lauren Lankford’s blog with Max Dubinsky titled “A Good Woman’s Guide to the 21st Century.” It rocked. I honestly couldn’t have for a moment said it better myself.

God has been talking to me about men as of late.

Men…oh you glorious creatures…I fall for you and I fall hard…

In a sense there is nothing wrong with falling hard, as long as you own yourself before you fall. It’s been a big learning curve for me. It continues to be.

I had to learn to own myself and let the chips fall where they may with my life. It’s utterly delicious. I won’t say it’s not lonely at times. But I’m owned…first by God…then myself.

Back to men…so I talk to God about you…because well, I talk to God about everything…

I want it stated for the record. I believe…no I KNOW there are really good ones out there…I am friends with you…I watch you with your children and wives…I’ve watched you struggle and fall…I’ve also watched you rise…

I believe in the men of this generation.

I give you credit for standing in a world that attacks you on every level by subversive and non-subversive sexuality at every stop sign…no respect for men in their roles as fathers and husbands…and the economic stress of the times…

Hurrah for you dear hearts!

So anyhow I talk to God about men…I’m secure with where I am in life and my mission…after all I have two baby loves to protect and nurture…

But I know there is a partner for me one day….when that day will be…I don’t know…I don’t per se care right now…because I trust God that He’s got my life (including my partner) allll under control…

In the meantime, I’ve got a 3 year RN program to complete. Two amazing little women to raise. Roads to run. Fields to lay in. Books to read. Places to travel. Food to experience. Relationships to build.

And should I not connect with Mr. Partner, I’m cool. I’m HIS. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.

So ladies…in your twenties…ladies desperate for a spouse or boyfriend…ladies willing to change to “keep him”….

STEP AWAY FROM THE MAN!!!! Learn yourself…Love yourself…experience life and what makes you tick. THEN. DO. NOT. CHANGE.

Let God own you first. Then YOU own yourself second. It’s the only way. You are not and will not be completed by another. God completes you and YOU complete you through time with yourself.

Keep the faith. Don’t hate men. Love the good ones. But BELIEVE IN YOUR WORTH. If you don’t have a man or don’t get one…don’t fret…GO TO ITALY!!! ;-)

Grace n Peace,

A ~

Intentional Affections…

As I sit here asking God to set my intention for the day…I admittedly don’t hear anything except…

The ministry of motherhood…

It’s as simple as that…

Children are forever…and they are NOT forever…

I look at the long legs on my 6 year old and think “How did we get here?”…

Wasn’t it yesterday that you owned 4 thighs and multiple dimples?

All those who know me, know that I’m an activist…I go for the underdog…I’m fearless in most situations…

But my prayer the last two weeks as we enter into our first summer together has been “Lord…set my intention for my children. Remind me that they are my ministry. Remind me in every moment that I’m called to THEM.”

And I admittedly struggle with my own desires to expand sometimes, regrettably, feeling that I need more than THIS calling…it shames me when I think that…

I realize that I can work for the Kingdom AND be a single mother…but in the best of intentions…I can allow my passions to overlap their lives…and I have to “re-set” MY intentions to HIS intentions…

I only get one shot at this…

It’s tough…some days feel like you could throw them in the sea…

(As I write this, one cat…one dog…two little girls screaming….I want to throw MYSELF in the sea ;-) )

But I must be an intentional mother…I must set the stage…I take the full responsibility of that calling…

Yesterday, our storage was broken into and we lost…well…everything. Nothing was left.

All the remnants of their childhood and my memories packed…gone…

Oddly…I felt pretty non-emotional…

I can lose their pictures and clothing…I CANNOT lose Laine and Sydney…

I open my Bible and the word falls to this:
“Do everything readily and cheerfully – no bickering, no second guessing allowed!” Philippians 2:14

I laugh to myself…

“God…what a sense of humor you have…”

Goodbye stuff. Hello God.

And I am again reminded today…”Set your affections on things above…”

Sydney Jean Lee Lumpkin. “Above” Affection.

Laine Georgia Lumpkin. “Above” Affection.

Grace n Peace,

A ~

Sacred Wretchedness (No…I DON’T know if it’s a word)

She texts to me…”In my humble opinion, It’s not that you haven’t struggled…it’s that the evil cannot remain in God’s presence. So if you are finding yourself in the presence of God more, the more your sinful nature will be revealed to you.”

I sit with it.

I humbly say yes…yes to my confidant in this journey…yes to my soul’s voice…yes…

It’s true…

For I’ve been wrestling with God over this issue for 2 weeks…wrestling early morns and late evenings…wrestling in carpool line…wrestling in Life Group…wrestling…

It’s the most conviction I have felt in my 34…true conviction…not the condemnation that I was raised upon…but true heart wrenching, “Oh that is awful, not me” conviction…

This wrenching of the sin of my soul in safety is all new to me…all I’ve known is fearful begging to be clean…worry that I have failed Him because my works could not surpass my failings…constant attention to detail…attention that had worn thin and frayed…leaving a mask and a pride that must stay in tact for life to continue…

But this…this glorious place where He and I meet…this place where the whisper comes…this place where my love draws me to tears…tears of “Wow…”

This place of…”I. am. filth…But. You. You are light…”

It’s all very very new…it’s sacred…

Wretched pauper that I am trying to feed at the King’s table in my filthy rags…lying only to myself about the garments I wear…tattered…caked with dung…hands full of innocent blood…fingernails clean…no dirt under them from Kingdom work…

I sit at His table ready to partake…giving into the illusion that I sit robed ready…white and clean…hair shining…skin glowing…spotless…

Then He takes my hand again…leads me to His mirror of the soul…and I see myself…

I am shocked at the reflection…hair matted…dirt caked face…filth…yet fingernails spotless…

I am reduced to tears as when my babe spills her drink…shocked that I could be so careless…ashamed of my outcomes…

I am fearful of the outcome of my selfish existence…more so…I am worried that He will forsake me…

But as I have myself countless times done with the babe…He strips my tattered filth…and begins to wash me…speaking softly “Shhh, mistakes happen. I will get you clean.”

He removes the waste…smooths the tangles…until I am restored…ready to share the meal with Him…

It is the purest expression of grace I have felt…finally…all avenues…they led to this…

This vulnerable God feast….where I abide…

He has not forsaken…He has forgiven…

Now clean….I am reminded…Dirty Hands…Clean Heart…

Grace n Peace,

A ~

Fatherless? Never…

She climbs in and wraps her arm around my neck tightly….sighing into my skin…

She is all smiles and sunshine…unaware of anything that is negative…

She smells of kittens and soap…she is lovely…

My mind races of injustices…wars…rumors of wars…

And…the fatherless….

My fatherless babes that search for answers within…

They say to me “Yes Mom…I KNOW…It’s not my fault…”

But do they?

Do they understand that He loves them MORE because they are fatherless?

Do they understand how amazing they are so early because of injustices endured?

Do they understand my heartaches in the night that I myself do not even unleash as they are so engrained in my spirit?

Do they know that THIS…THIS is the saving grace?

THIS is the where He whispers…and we learn to lean and walk?

They might not…they might stumble…they will question…but He and I will walk alongside…we will celebrate and cry with them…we will answer the questions…and we will LOVE….OH how we will love the kitten enamoured girls we call OURS…

Grace n Peace,

A ~

Service…

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Martin Luther King Jr.

800,000 Rwandans were killed in the 1994 Genocide. The world stood by and chose to not take any part in stopping the rapes, tortures, and killings of innocent women and children.

27 Million Women, children, and men are trafficked annually into modern-day slavery for sex. 800,000 are trafficked against international borders each year. 1.2 million children are trafficked each year. 14,500 to 17,500 are trafficked into the United States annually. 50 percent of all victims are CHILDREN. 126 million children work in the worst forms of child labour. There are an estimated 300,000 child soldiers involved in over 30 areas of conflict worldwide, some younger than 10 years old. My daughter is almost 9….

In 1850, slaves cost $40,000 (todays dollar), today they only cost $30.00.

The state of Arkansas rates the highest in the nation for child hunger. 24.4 percent of children in the state of Arkansas are starving without consistent access to food. 15.5 million children or approximately 20.7 percent in the United States live in poverty.

I sat with a child yesterday at Laine’s school and we slipped him food. I watched as he stuffed every remnant in his mouth before it could be taken. I went home to too much food and too many choices of what to eat. This SHOULD NOT be so.

In Matthew 24: 38-40 Jesus says,“Then the King will say to those on his right, Come you who are blessed by my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me. Then these righteous ones will reply, “Lord when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? when did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you? And the King will say, “I tell you the truth when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters you were doing it to me!” Then the king will turn to those on the left and say, Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. For I was hungry and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked and you didn’t give clothing. I was sick and in prison and you didn’t visit me.”

Here’s the deal: Jesus equated righteousness with action to his children. If we are “in relationship” with Him then we are to feed, clothe, visit, love others. In a family relationship, we do not allow our children or brothers or sisters to walk around naked. We don’t allow our children to go hungry. Mother’s don’t allow their children to go to prison and not be visited. The same is true with Christ. We are in covenant with Him. He expects that covenant to dictate our lives and how we live out His love to our world. The ones He called righteous were the ones that loved those in need.

This WRECKS ME. We will all stand at judgement before a loving, compassionate giving (so giving that he came down and gave his life) God beside other God Lovers that saved victims, that fed the hungry, that adopted the fatherless, that clothed the poor and we will be judged beside them.

Knowing this does not stir fear within me, and I don’t want it to stir fear within you…It stirs shame. It stirs hurt and compassion. It stirs desire to change first myself to think differently, then change the things that I CAN change.

What frustrates me about myself is that I find myself the typical American. Surrounded by so much spiritual food, physical food, emotional food that I’m fat. I’m puking. I can’t even keep it all in. So instead of pushing back the plate and giving the other portions away to those in need, I keep eating until I puke it up. And it benefits NO ONE.

Wilberforce said “You may choose to look the other way but you can never again say you did not know.”

We cannot look away. I could very easily be this statistic. 27 percent of single mothers and their children live in poverty. 12.9 single fathers and their children live in poverty. Were it not for God’s grace, my children could be part of this statistic. I’m very very blessed.

But I refuse to let it go wasted. Our generation cannot say, we did not know. We cannot look the other way. It’s in our faces. It’s before us.

Are we willing to take a step towards “others”? Because in doing so, we take another step towards Him.

The beautiful thing is, you don’t have to have a million dollars. You don’t have to go to Africa. There are things we can do right here in this city. Bethlehem house. My mom, the girls and I and Jack Shock volunteer every month. If you can’t volunteer your time you can volunteer funds so that others can do the necessary work. Last night we met a man who only eats every other day because he has no gas to come every day. HE IS MADE IN GOD’S IMAGE. THIS SHOULD NOT BE SO.

Trafficking victims: Pray the A21 prayers. Join their FB page and adhere to legislation to establish trafficking laws in the US.

Child Hunger in Arkansas and Texas (largest in the nation): FeedingAmerica.org helps feed American Families across America including Arkansas. You can donate to local food banks, donate funds, or establish a drive for our group.

I live on very limited funds but I knew that I needed to sacrifice. I give at least $7.00 a month (the cost of 2 mochas) to feed the hungry every month. It can be that easy. Give up a mocha. Give up an ice cream. Teach your kids to give one up. If we all did this in America we could begin to irradiate hunger.

I know this sounds fanatical. I know it sounds so far removed from where we actually live. But isn’t that the point? God requires us to be disciples of His love. I find it very hard to feel any love of any kind if I am shivering naked, being beaten and sold for sex, starving, and shelterless. In order to BE God…we must clothe, shelter, feed. and love our brothers and sisters.

Grace N Peace,

A ~

Bono kinda day

“It’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
It’s a beautiful day”

U2

Beautiful day blares from a random TV somewhere…(Oh how I adore that song)

Chocolate Chip mini bundt cakes for breakfast in the oven…

Fresh coffee…

Little girls…

My Bible…

It’s a beautiful day…

Grace n Peace,

A ~

PS Here are a few beautiful things that I’m lovin…

Almost a billion people on the planet don’t have access to clean drinking water. Unsafe water and a lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of all disease and kill more people than all forms of violence, including war. We’re working to change that. Join us and learn how you can help



When confronted with the horrific statistics surrounding human trafficking, it is easy to agree on the fact that “someone should do something.” The A21 Campaign was born when the decision was made to put our hand up and be that “someone”. It was a decision of ordinary people who decided to take responsibility regarding the issue of human trafficking. So with little knowledge, and a lot of passion, in 2007 we set out to make a difference.
After extensive research, planning, fundraising, more research, relationship building, a lot of learning, and a great leap of faith, we opened our first shelter for victims of human trafficking at the end of 2008.
This shelter is located in a prime destination country in Europe, Greece – and we are now able to provide trafficked victims a safe, loving, and comforting environment, access to medical care and psychological assessment, vocational training, assistance in university education, life guidance/counseling, and access to legal assistance. We work closely with police, hospitals and government officials, and are seeing justice being brought to new rescued victims each month.
While we continue to improve our restoration services in Greece, we have also been establishing relationships with key government officials and NGO’s, as well as conducting a feasibility study to find the greatest needs in the Ukraine.
As the Ukraine is a source country for many victims trafficked to Greece, the expansion of work in the Ukraine will increase our ability to strategically help both at risk persons, and those who have already been trafficked. Through our Ukrainian team, we have already been able to help several trafficked victims, including the provision of much needed medical assistance. We have also begun a school program, educating at-risk students about the dangers of human trafficking and how to identify false job opportunities.
We do not claim to be the “experts” and recognize that our fight for justice has only just begun, but The A21 Campaign rings true through the famous words of Margaret Mead, “never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”
The A21 Campaign stands for abolishing injustice in the 21st century. Anyone can join – everyone can make a difference.

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